The Boat is a Funhouse

(Sylvia)
When I was a little girl my father used to take me to Playland at the Beach in San Francisco. I loved it. I especially loved the Funhouse. I could stay there all day. I wanted to live in the Funhouse. Now, as it turns out, I do.

Traveling on a boat on the ocean with wind and swells is just like being in a funhouse. Really, it is.

1) Take for example the heeling. For the first four days we were on a starboard tack and heeled over to port. In Real Person speak that means the wind was coming from the right (starboard), hitting our big mainsail, and pushing it to the left (port). When the mainsail got pushed over the boat attached to it leaned over as well, so for four days we functioned in an environment that was not horizontal, but tilted significantly to the left. In order to walk we had to lean right. Just like The Funhouse with its moving floors.

2) The wind is not constant so our angle of tilt is not constant either. So we get to add some irregular swaying to the mix. Fun!

3) It would be easy to get used to a merely tilted environment, and some swaying too, but add waves (swell) usually from more than one direction, and the fun really begins. Not only are we tilting, but with waves we also get the added benefit of MORE swaying back and forth, plus irregular lurching as the swells hit the back and side of the boat. Tilting, swaying, lurching, it's just like walking through The Funhouse.

4) The Pinball Machine - Down below when moving through the boat that is tilting, swaying and lurching, we ricochet from handhold to handhold, sometimes bouncing off the table and/or walls on our way forward and back. The boat is the machine and the humans are the pinballs.

5) Fun in the galley - our refrigeration is on the right (starboard) side of the boat. So when the boat is really heeled over to port it's perilous to open the door lest all the contents of the fridge slide out onto the floor. So the fun is timing the door-opening to coincide with when the boat briefly sways right. Sway right; open the door; snatch out what I need; close the door; wait; sway right; open the door; snatch out the next thing I need; close the door; wait, and so on. Sometimes I time it wrong and everything in the fridge heads my way. Quick, close the door! Wait. Start over. Then reverse it to put things away. You see, it's just like a game. Fun!

6) More Fun in the galley - the stove is on a gimbal, which lets it sway back and forth in order to keep the pots level when the boat is not. It's ever so much fun to cook on the stovetop, bake in the oven, and even just boil water on a stove/oven that is constantly in motion. It's also fun to try to pour boiling water into a thermos or a cup while the boat is tilting all over the place.

7) The Playpen - You might wonder how we stay in our bunks with all the leaning, tilting, swaying and lurching going on. Our bunks have what's called a lee cloth, a long panel of mesh attached to the bottom of the bunk that goes up the open side of the bunk like the side of a playpen. It's this playpen that keeps us from being ejected from our sleeping quarters. A playpen for grownups.

8) The Roller Coaster - Sometimes at night, when it's windy, the boat goes hurtling through the darkness. When there are big swells it feels like going down a slope on a roller coaster. Sometimes, when there is no moon (like now), it feels like we're careening in a big circle. It's kind of like having vertigo, or being on a crazy roller coaster.

9) After four days I became used to leaning right, maintaining a low center of gravity, and holding on to things to keep from becoming a projectile. Then, two days ago while I was asleep the guys turned the boat on to the other gybe, so the wind was then on our left (port) side, and the boat was tilted to the right (starboard). I should have known when I woke up and wasn't plastered up against the backrest cushions as per usual. But I was tired and wasn't paying attention, so I got up in the usual fashion, leaning to the right (starboard) side of the boat, and nearly launched myself across the saloon (aka salon). Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?? The dudes announced they'd thrown in a gybe and from now on we would all be leaning to the left (port) side of the boat. Those fun tricksters! And since I was no longer a target for the refrigerator contents I cleaned it.

10) The Zoo -Each morning we traverse the decks, picking up suicidal squids and flying fish and flinging them over the side. We're sorry, little fishies, that we weren't awake for your visit. The booby birds are especially friendly and have made a daily activity of flying by and eyeballing the boat for a place to land. We've noticed that when they want to land they give their tail feathers a perky little shake which is our cue to 1) shout like lunatics, 2) honk the boat's horn, 3) brandish objects in their general direction. We plan to start an aquarium soon and hope to catch some tasty lovely fish to put in our freezer aquarium.

11) The Shooting Gallery - We gybed back over to starboard last night, so we are leaning left again, which means I am once again the target and the food is the bullets in the shooting gallery that is our refrigerator.

12) There's so much more that's fun in our topsy turvy world, but we hope you get the idea. And we haven't even had too very boisterous weather yet. Just think of the fun!